


Anything But A Fairytale Cliche

by phan_on_the_nx_01



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Features other youtubers, Fluff and Angst, Humour, M/M, Royalty AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-19 06:11:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3599346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phan_on_the_nx_01/pseuds/phan_on_the_nx_01
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life was pretty easy for servant Dan Howell. Until he fell in love with his best friend, who also just happened to be the Prince of the kingdom</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Ball and Confusing Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first phanfiction. Post reviews as I love feedback! This took a fair amount of time and I will try to post as regularly as possible.

Who said life was ever going to be easy? That would be no one. You see I am a servant in the Royal household. I am the personal aide to Prince Philip, or Phil as he prefers to be called. We’ve been friends from a very early age since my parents run many of the castle’s goings on.  
I am Daniel James Howell and this is the story of how I fell in love with the Prince.  
By accident.  
Honest.  
************  
I suppose it started when Phil turned 21. Of course, in the typical manner of the Royal family, a ball was held of the most lavish kind. Servants permitted, as always. By this time I already had an irrational crush on my best friend and, of course, every one of the servants knew of it. Rumours fly faster than a hawk on crack to be honest. Those who knew included my friends, Cat and PJ.  
“Are you ever going to tell him?” Cat asked me as I adjusted my tie for the fourth or fifth time in the span of five minutes.  
“Why would I do that? It’s not like it’s going to be reciprocated” I snorted as I turned to face her. We were in the main waiting hall, ready to start serving all the guests that had been invited. Letting our hair down came later, much much later.  
“So you’re just going to wallow in your own self-pity before this crush goes away?” She crossed her arms at this.  
“That’s the general plan yes”  
“Right…” Cat sounded less than convinced; as this is what I’ve been trying to do for the last few years.  
Has it worked?  
No.  
PJ finally sauntered in at last, saving me from more possible interrogation from Cat.  
“Evening Loverboy” He greets “up to finally wooing your prince?”  
“Fuck you PJ”. Clearly the interrogation was far from over.  
“That’s saved for Phil isn’t it” he grins “come on Loverboy time is of the essence”. Sighing I turn back to the mirror and adjust my tie for the last time.  
“Could you two stop? I’m never going to tell him and that’s it”  
_Keep telling yourself that Dan and everything will work out fine._  
Yeah, like that’s ever going to happen.  
***************  
The main hall was decorated in colours of blue and black. Based off of the Princes most defining features. _Snap out of it Howell you sound like a love sick teenager_. We served drinks to guests until the Princes grand arrival. Which of course I grinned to myself, Phil will most probably trip and try to pass it off as what he was meant to do. PJ sidled up with his tray of drinks after a few minutes.  
“When is the Prince gonna turn up Loverboy?”  
“Can you stop?” I angrily whispered to him.  
“Not until you tell him” He replied as one of the guests grabbed a drink off of him. This will be never in the history of this kingdom.  
“Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present Prince Philip Michael Lester”  
Oh shit.  
I turned around with hesitation and saw him. Phil. Ebony hair, brilliant blue eyes (seriously you could swimming in them) and a lean body. I gulped. Stop thinking like that Dan. We bowed and curtsied in the typical manner and the festivities continued.  
And I avoided the Prince as much as possible. That was until he asked me to dance. I was my best to serve everyone but him, until like the awkward human being I am, I bumped into him.  
“I’m sorry Prince I wasn’t looking where I was going” I spluttered out. _I was trying to avoid you_.  
“it’s fine Dan it was an accident, it happens” Phil replied “actually I have a question to ask you”. Oh no. _Not to dance, not to dance, not to dance_ I chanted in my head.  
“Would you care to dance with me?”  
_It would be rude to say no_ my optimistic side of my brain said _it may be a sign. Yeah right he’s as straight as a ruler_ the other half of my brain countered _._  
So I decided. Fuck it.  
I’ll dance.  
“I would love to Princ- I mean Phil” I answered. He offered me his hand which I accepted. It was a typical waltz; luckily they teach you how to dance when you are a part of the Royal Families workforce. It was fate that we were in the middle of the dance floor like any fairy tale cliché. Which is not what my life is.  
We started at a slow pace and held each other loosely until Phil grabbed me by the waist and held me closer. Step one don’t blush. Fail Step One with flying colours. There was little space between our bodies. I could feel his hot breath against my ear.  
“You know what I forgot to tell you before I asked you?” he whispered in my ear as we swayed in time to the music.  
“What?” I answered back, unsure where this was going and what on Earth he was implying.  
“Your crush might like you back”  
I stopped and pulled away.  
“Pardon?” He can’t like you; he’s the goddamn Prince for fucks sake. It’s all one big joke. He blushed and looked down at his feet.  
“Your crush might like you back” he repeated.  
Impossible.  
So I ran.


	2. Fait Accompli or No Choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter later than expected.... ooops.

 The balcony at the very top of the vast castle was the only safe haven. I felt the cool breeze ruffle my hair slightly and I sighed. How the hell had my life become one huge confusing mess? First the Prince admitting he liked me as _much_ more than a friend and now this. Oh did I forget to tell you?

 Phil is meant to start courting. Fantastic isn't it? I heard just as I ran out of the hall, away from my apparent problems. Which have now got a hell of a lot worse.

  "Dan?" I whipped around to see Cat at the open balcony door.

  "What? Come to comfort to me or to pity me?" I muttered. 

  "Neither actually" she said as she walked out "I've come out to drag you out of your pity and do something about this".

 "Do what? He's going to get married to some pretty girl and I'll just watch it all happen" I turned back around to the view that spread out in front of us.

 "You do realise he wants anything but this?" Cat questioned.

 Yeah right

**************

 To make my situation beyond the realms of fantastic, I have been selected to chaperone Phil and his suitors. Due to the fact I'm the one he trusts most. It's all one huge stinking mess. At least for me.  My job was basically to ensure nothing too... well you get the idea.

 The first suitor was to arrive today and would be here for an afternoon and if it doesn't work, we'll move on to the next suitor. In total five were selected as the most compatible. Simple right? Watch the love of your life find the love of his life and try to be happy about it. Oh and watch it all happen.

Me-0 The Universe-1.

 "Prince!" I said knocking on his door.

 "Yes?" came a muffled reply.

 "Not to rush you or anything but the first suitor is arriving very soon" I leant against his door. The words felt like they were clogging my throat. All of a sudden my phone vibrated in my jacket pocket.

  **From: PJ**

**Loverboy... I have some information for you**

 Loverboy? Again? I was never going to live that name down.

**To: PJ**

**What? Anything that could remotely improve my mood?**

 "Phil? Seriously get your ass moving!" I shouted impatient now. Another vibration.

**From: PJ**

**You'll have a friend to wallow in your love with. The suitor also has a chaperone. So more fun for you.**

 Great. Fantastic. Fucking wonderful. All of a sudden; the door opened. I crashed through and right into Phil's chest. Spare me. I stared into his brilliant sapphire eyes and all too close lips.

 "We should go now" I stuttered out and scrambled off him. A furious blush was now on my cheeks and I left leaving Phil on the floor and ran down the stairs.

*****************

 The first suitor was, of course, beautiful. Fair skin, pretty grass green eyes and a lithe body. Perfection. Fairytale worthy.

 The word kept swimming about in my head. Fairytale. They were always perfect. When my parents told them they were always fait accompli. No one came in and said 'but you can't do that' or 'you've only just met'. It was always first sight=true love.

 "Hello? I've been told to accompany you on chaperone duties" a fair girl with dipped dyed pink hair shook me from my thoughts. We had beem given a vantage point so to speak.

 "My names Dan Howell by the way".

  "Louise Pentland chaperone to the Princess" she replied "so how long have you known the Prince?". I shrugged as she sat down on the bench. 

  "For as long as I can remember really".

  I heard laughter and whipped  my head around. Jealously bubbled in my stomach. _Get used to it_ I thought _it's going to be a_ _long five days._

  
*****************

  "You know what your nickname should be? Heart Eyes Howell" Louise piped up after a few minutes.

  "Excuse me?" I struggled out.

  "If you keep staring like that people are bound to notice" she shrugged "you do know he's been looking the exact same way to you when you haven't been looking".

  What? She must be nuts. _Remember the dance though._

  "You're joking".

  "Just making an observation".

 The conversation ended at that. We talked for a few more hours until it was the end of the date and the Princess left without much fuss.

  _Heart eyes Howell. I'm so in love I've become an emoji._ I snorted.

_The exact same way._

 

 


	3. complications and confession (and a rope ladder?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this hasn't been updated in forever due to the fact i had exams and then went on holiday. sorry the chapter short? i guess???

 Lord knows why Dan decided to drown his sorrows with Ribena in the lowest kitchen in the palace; despite Louise's encouragement to tell Phil. Perhaps because she may be right or the fact the suitor tomorrow may be the _one_ for Phil. The latter he hoped wasn’t true.

 “I can always find you Loverboy, I’m not stupid” a voice said behind him. Dan groaned.

 “Go away” he protested “I’m fine”. Pj snorted as he came into the room.

 “I don’t think so” Pj said as he sat down opposite Dan “until you go up to Phil’s room and confess, I’m not moving”.

 Dan looked like a deer caught in the headlights and almost choked on his drink.

 “You’re joking right?”

Pj only smirked.

 “He loves you” Pj insisted

 “Does not”

 “Does too”

 “What are we, five?” Dan asked.

 “It seems like it” Pj concluded. Dan sighed and rubbed his forehead.

 “Fine but it’s your fault if I end up completely heartbroken and drowning the palace’s wine cellar” Dan pronounced.

  “Agreed”

***

“This was a bad idea”

 “It’s meant to be romantic” Pj persisted.

 “Bullshit”

 They were outside of Phil’s room, which had a balcony (conveniently). Pj’s plan involved was very Romeo and Juliet-esque.

 “Are you certain this is going to work?” Dan asked.

 “Positive, now get throwing those stones and I want to hear about everything that happened in the morning” Pj said with an extreme amount of confidence. With that Pj walked off.

 Dan sighed. _Might as well do this_ he thought _what’s the worse that could happen?_

Embarrassment.

Possibly friendship destroying.

Screw it all he _wanted_ Phil.

So he started throwing stones; carefully aiming them at the balcony doors. Three stones and several profanities later, the doors opened.

“Who’s there?” a groggy voice came from just inside the doors.

“It’s Dan”

“What? What are you doing here?” Phil stepped out onto the balcony wearing only a Pokémon t-shirt and Sonic boxers. Though entirely nerdy items, Dan’s mouth went dry at the site.

“I’ve come to talk to you, before everything…” Dan faltered _before you marry someone else_ he thought. “Can I please come up?”

“Sure hang on” Phil smiled and giggled slightly “how are you going to get up?”

“Do you still have the old rope ladder? From the treehouse?” Dan mused “that’s long enough”

“I think so…” Phil ran back in and came back a few moments later with a fairly old rope ladder which looked worn from various wear and tear.

   He slung it over the side of the balcony and the end hit the grass with a soft thump. Phil then secured the ladder with a few tight knots.

“Well come on up then” He winked and sauntered back into his room. Dan gulped and made his way to the ladder. His palms were sweaty, since when did that happen? Since Phil got flirty and came out in boxers he supposed. And he was about to climb a fucking ladder to his bedroom. Dan started to climb slowly so he wouldn’t end up where he started. The ladder swayed under his weight as he climbed higher and after a few tense minutes, he reached the top. Now for the hard part. The balconies side was quite difficult to navigate but Dan collapsed over the side with dusty clothes and barely retained dignity. He brushed himself off and walked in to Phil’s room.

 For a Prince’s room it was not grand or expensive but rather like an ordinary young adult. Muse posters adorned the walls, a 3DS was chucked on the blue and green chequered bedspread and there was a small lion plushie on the bedside table. And Phil had finally put some jeans on.

 “So why did you want to see me at this late hour Dan?” Phil questioned.

 “Um, you know at the ball when we were dancing?” Dan stumbled out the words in quick succession “you told me you had a crush on me? Well I’m here to give you an answer and-“ 

 Dan stopped. Well you would if you were being kissed. Phil’s lips were soft, extremely so, and Dan wound his arms around Phil’s neck. _This was easier than expected_ Dan thought. Phil’s arms grabbed Dan’s waist and, when oxygen became necessary, they broke apart.

 “Dan” Phil spoke first quiet and husky “I don’t like you”. Dan’s heart dropped and he stumbled backwards, almost tripping over his own feet.

 “Then why did you kiss me? To get my hopes up and crush my heart? Why?”  He cried out, not caring how loud he was.

 “Let me finish Dan please” Phil protested “I don’t just like you. I love you”.

Dan was stunned. The prince of the kingdom loved him and was meant to be choosing his suitor. All in a little less than a week.

"I love you too" he replied hushed and unsure "but you have to marry someone of a royal bloodline"

"I will marry whoever I please" Phil said. Phil walked forward and rested his hands on Dan's shoulders. 

"Will you be my boyfriend?" he grinned. Dan smiled back.

"Of course but we may have to do something about your supposed impending marriage"

"Don't worry, I have a few ideas" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand things get complicated :)


	4. Rays of sunshine and Tumblr will have to wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not uploading in a while. Life and 6th form took me away from the internet than longer than i wanted. Also TABINOF!!!

 Him, Cat, Pj and Phil had congregated in one of the drawing rooms in the early morning; just before the next ‘potential’ suitor was to arrive. Dan tried to ignore Pj and Cat’s smirking faces and focus on the task at hand.

 “So we have to ensure that a wedding of any kind doesn’t happen?” Pj questioned.

 “If that’s possible” Phil replied.

 “There is pretty much only one way you can do that” Pj said cautiously “and it may not work”

 “What is it?” Dan burst out and gripped Phil’s hand tighter.

 “You have to interrupt the wedding Dan”

 “It’s the only potential way” Cat added.

 “So I still have to marry? Or, at least, go through with it until the last moment?” Phil clarified quietly.

 “Yes” Pj said solemnly.

_Shit_ Dan thought _shit shit shit._

***

 The next suitor was as beautiful as the one before and apparently one of the most beautiful men in the known kingdom. Phil’s bisexuality was no secret amongst the royal household. They interacted more awkwardly around each other and the chaperone was a ray of sunshine. More so than Phil’s suitor.

  “Tyler, seriously, you thought typing household objects into a porn website was a good idea?” Dan said with a fair amount of exasperation. The other man’s face scrunched up and he shrugged.

 “It seemed like a good idea at the time” Tyler replied.

 “In what universe is it a good idea?”

 “This one I suppose. So what’s your deal with the Prince anyway?” Dan’s looked shocked for a moment then regained some sort of composure.

 “Who told you?”

 “Louise” Tyler admitted with very little guilt.

 “Is there a chaperone network or something?” Dan joked.

 “Strangely enough, yes”

 “I don’t even want to know”

 ***

 Tyler and his charge left after a few hours (in which time Dan learned there are certain places you _shouldn’t_ put a whisk).  The next few hours were a haze of dinner and the _joy_ of being a servant in the royal household.

  Dan arrived at his room at around 10pm, more than up for a night of tumblr and late night Wikipedia when he noticed a sticky note on his door.

  _Ladder left outside. I have a plan._

 He looked for a moment at the note. Plan? There was a plan, albeit a very flawed and bad plan but it was still something. Shrugging he walked away, just remembering to peel the note off the door as to not to appear suspicious. Tumblr, it seemed, could wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will write more for the next chapter promise ^~^


	5. I am his and he is mine. From this day, until the end of my days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where have i been? i am so sorry. i am terrible at updating.

The ladder was let down as promised. Dan climbed up with a suitable amount of caution and tried not to rush. He wanted to know what the plan was. It had to be better than speaking out at a wedding for fucks sake. He reached the top and climbed over the balcony edge, but ended up tripping on the edge. He fell pretty much flat on his face for the second time in a week.

“Phil” he called out as he entered the room “where the hell are you?”

“Here” Phil replied as he walked out the bathroom.

“You asked for me sir” Dan jokingly said as he bowed. However he saw Phil’s eyes darken with the slightest hint of lust.

“I have a new plan” Phil said as he grabbed Dan’s hand and started to drag him across the room.

“What exactly is it?”

“We marry now. I asked PJ to get a car ready”. Dan then proceeded to pull Phil to a sudden halt at that.

“Marry? Now?” Dan said mildly shocked “are you sure? Completely and utterly sure?” Phil frowned and dropped Dan’s hand. Silence reigned for a few minutes until Phil spoke again.

“I want to marry you Dan not some random suitor from a far away kingdom” he sighed “I’ve known you for almost all my life, who knows me better than anyone else and that’s you”

“I love you” Dan blurted out “we can do this”. Phil grinned and blushed.

“Then I suppose I should do this properly” Phil got down in one knee and produced a ring box much to Dan’s astonishment “Daniel James Howell… will you marry me?”

“Oh god yes”  
***  
The ceremony was held in a registrar office on the edge of the city. It was small with there only being two witnesses and the officiant, whose name was Caspar Lee. He was one of the very few staff around at the late hour. They had looked quite shocked when the Prince and his personal valet came in asking to be married. Then again, they had seen weirder things.

“Do you take Dan Howell to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do”

“Do you take Phil Lester-“

“I do”

“Then you may kiss your husband”  
***  
 _Royal Scandal! Crown Prince marries valet in secret ceremony. Shocking details inside!!!_

Oh shit

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!!!!!!!


End file.
